


Four Bright Days and One Dark Night

by titaniumandtorn



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 1910s, 1912 AU, Actors, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Titanic Fusion, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Arguing, Artist Jean Kirstein, Badass Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Blackmail, Bottom Marco Bott, Chance Meetings, Character Death, Closeted Character, Crossdressing, Drowning, Falling In Love, Family Loss, Fear, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Freezing to death, Gay Sex, Heartbreak, Historical, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jean Doesn't Know How Gay Sex Works, Jean Kirstein Being An Asshole, Last Kiss, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mainly about Jeanmarco, Male Homosexuality, Marco Is Not A Virgin, Marco is a Sweetheart, Musicians, Original Special Operations Squad | Squad Levi, POV Jean Kirstein, Painting, Panic, Period-Typical Homophobia, Playwriting, Promises, RMS Titanic, Reincarnation, Royal Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Second class Jean, Secret Relationship, Self-Sacrifice, Singer Marco Bott, Slow Dancing, Stargazing, Story within a Story, Strangers to Lovers, Third class Marco, Titanic AU, Top Jean Kirstein, Tragedy, Trapped, Virgin Jean Kirschtien, historical fiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/titaniumandtorn/pseuds/titaniumandtorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On April 1st, 1912, 16 Year old Jean Kirschtien was presented with the opportunity of a life time. He was given a one way second class ticket to America on the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic. Of course, with a father as rich as his own waiting for him in New York, he wasn't about to turn down a ticket on the unsinkable ship. But on April 8th, 1912, he meets a boy around his age trying to sell many of his valuables just to get a ticket so that his entire family would be able to make the one way trip to America. Taking pity on the freckle faced boy, Jean decided to help him out a little and the two end up on the ship of dreams together. Over the course of four days, Jean faces what he believes is his worst fear at the time, coming to terms with who he is. Jean has to decide weather to openly cherish the boy with the chocolate brown eyes at the risk of losing his reputation, or weather to keep his attraction a secret and leave the boy behind as soon as the ship docks. However, in the early morning of April 15th, 1912, all of his earlier fears didn't seem so scary anymore. The unsinkable ship, was sinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Unsinkable Ship

**Author's Note:**

> I am not basing this on the movie Titanic as much as I am the historical knowledge that I have. I am trying my hardest to make it as historically accurate as possible so please bare with me.

Everybody in Southampton had heard of the RMS Titanic. It was the ship of dreams of course. Not even God himself could sink it. And I, Jean Kirschtien, had a one way ticket on the maiden voyage of the ship. My mother wasn't extremely rich, but my father in America was. After three years of us living without him, he finally sent my mother a message and enough money for one second class ticket and one third class ticket or three third class tickets. No matter what my sister and I told her, she refused to ride third class with criminals.  
"Jean, do you realize we hold a very high standard under the name Kirschtien? We should be riding first class, not third!" She said, angrily pacing back and forth in the kitchen. "And I can't just go without my children! And Jacelynn is too young to ride alone. I'm going to have to trust you, Jean. The man of the family will have to go. As soon as you are in America, send us the money for two more tickets and we will join you as soon as the next voyage reaches New York. Got it?"  
"Yes Mama, but I think it would be better to go third class and make sure we all arrived at the same time, right? And what if the Titanic doesn't sail to America again for a long time? It's the safest ship around and..." I started, but I was cut off by my mother shoving the ticket in my face.  
"The ticket is already bought. You are to keep the extra change for when you arrive in America. If you don't take it, I will be forced to go without you two," My mother said. I knew it was a trap. There was no way I could say go ahead and leave me to care for my six year old sister for God knows how long. I grabbed the ticket from my mother's hand and nodded.  
"Thank you, Mother," I said, bowing my head before exiting the room. With the ticket in my pocket, I left the house. I had wasted so much time worrying about all the negatives surrounding the voyage, but there had to be positives as well. I had eight days all by myself in my own room, meeting my own friends and having an experience that was all mine. And best of all, I didn't have to hear my mothers disapproval at every word I spoke. That was the most freedom a sixteen year old boy could have. I slowly stopped dreading the trip as much as I had before.  
"Sir, could you spare a moment to chat with me?" A voice came from behind me. I turned around to see a boy with chocolate brown eyes and a collection of freckles across his cheeks. He was wearing an old looking cap and looked all together dirty, but his smile warmed my heart. I stopped and gave him a signature Kirschtien Smile, hoping to come off as not too intimidating. He stood up from where he was sitting on the steps of an old bakery and brushed off his pants. He couldn't be much younger than me and something about him made me almost feel sorry for him, even though I had never exactly spoken to him.  
"I'm Marco Bodt. A pleasure to meet you," He said holding his hand out for me to shake. I just stared at him for a while, hoping he would get the point soon that I wasn't going to shake his hand with the rest of his appearance looking like he was living on the streets. He finally pulled back his hand and nodded before giving a weak laugh.  
"Uh... I bet you're wondering why exactly I asked to speak with you. I was wondering if you would be interested in buying a watch off of me?" He asked, opening up his coat to display a few cheap looking watches and one very nice looking watch. I was surprised that he could possibly afford to have a watch that expensive, and if he did, why was he selling it?  
"What's the deal?" I asked him after looking over the selection of watches he had provided.  
"10 shillings per watch. The one in the middle is 3 pounds," He said, smile still on his face.  
"No not the price, I mean why are you selling something so valuable at such a low price? Why are you selling it at all?" I asked him.  
"I come from a family of five. My mother, my father, my little brother, Isaac, my little sister, Florence, and I. Well as you know the Titanic is leaving tomorrow and we only need one more ticket. I have sold every valuable thing I own to get my family on that ship. This watch is the last thing I have worth anything. And three pounds will pay for the last ticket I need," Marco said. I gave the boy a weak smile, despite knowing exactly what my mother would say.  
"Well, Marco. You sold me on that one. Here's 8 pounds. Enjoy your trip," I smiled before handing him the money. He stood shocked looking at the money in his palm and then back at me.  
"But I only asked for three," He said. I smiled and waved him off.  
"You can use the extra change. It's a very nice watch and it's worth a lot more," I said. He pulled the watch out of his pocket and put it on my wrist for me. I smiled and waved him a farewell before heading home again.  
"Wait I didn't catch your name!" Marco yelled after me. I stopped in my tracks and turned around.  
"Jean, nice to meet you Marco," I said nodding to him again.  
The next couple of hours were spent packing. My mother wanted to make sure I looked like a gentleman throughout the entire 8 day trip, and I was hoping I wouldn't see Marco Bodt aboard the Titanic. If I did, he'd probably only see me for who my family wanted me to be. A spoiled rich kid with no worries or fears. However, he'd probably never see me as me, the boy who was so concerned about impressing his mother that he never got to live his life. That message is a little hard to convey when I'm only wearing fancy suit coats and bow ties.  
My mother was spending all of her time worrying about my trip that it may as well have been her leaving on the boat. I spent all my free time with Jacelynn making sure she would be okay without her big brother for a little while and making sure she knew exactly why I had to leave her behind. She said she did and we spent an abundance of time sitting in her room sharing stories of make believe places. Of gentleman sweeping young ladies off their feet and living happily ever after. I always made sure the prince in my story had chocolate brown eyes and freckles.  
On April 10th, 1912, I woke up early enough to see the sunrise. That's something I hadn't done in a very long time. I just sat outside and watch the sun come up in the sky, covering the stars with shades of orange, purple, pink, and yellow to form a master piece in the sky. It was calming to see but also a little alarming. This would be my last sunrise in Southampton.


	2. Oh, You Beautiful Doll

Soon after the sunrise had faded into the late morning sky, my mother showed up in my room, grabbing my bags. She handed me a new suit to wear for boarding the ship and I could tell she was trying to make everyone think I was a big deal. It's not that I don't appreciate her effort, I'm just not that big of a deal. I was already terrified of keeping up an act even if it was just until the boat was out of sight.   
The dock wasn't far to walk to, but it seemed like forever to me. I was trying to memorize exactly what the town looked like because I knew I'd never come back to the UK. I was headed for a much better life in America, but it wouldn't hurt to draw a picture of the town I grew up in sometime. Everyone within sight range of the dock was watching the Titanic. I could feel my heart racing as I saw her. My fear was replace with excitement as I saw the ship that would be my home for the next eight days. A smile spread across my face as I stared at her.   
"Jean, remember what I told you? Send us some money for some tickets as soon as you get there. Don't do anything stupid on the ship. You have a name to uphold. You're father will be at the dock. Your reputation is everything. You will not speak to anyone of a lower class than you, understood?" My mother asked me before I could get in line to board the ship. I nodded to her and turned around to get in line and board the ship.   
"Bye, Jean! I'll miss you!" Jacelynn called out to me, waving her arms as high as she could.   
"Bye, Jacelynn! I'll miss you too! I love you!" I called, hoping she could hear me over the noise of the crowd at the dock.   
Everyone who was boarding was second and third class. I figured first class got a royal welcome. The man checking tickets was going fairly quickly, asking few questions so the line didn't get too backed up. I only had to people in front of me within only a few minutes of standing.   
"No, Edward I refuse to board this ship!" The lady in front of me protested.   
"It was only a dream, this ship is unsinkable. Your passage would be worried free," The man, Edward, tried calming her down. I rolled my eyes, realizing this lady was crazy paranoid. She soon after turned around and left the dock. Edward then boarded without her. I shook my head and handed the man my ticket.   
"Can you give me your name, sir?" The man asked me. I nodded and responded before walking into the ship. One of the younger men working the ship approached me, offering to take my bag to my room. I was shocked, but I nodded and handed the boy my bags. He then motioned for me to follow him. I was busy looking around the ship, all thought of my home town forgotten as I memorized the way the floors were lined in linoleum and the chandeliers probably weighed more than me.   
My room was close to the end of the hall way and it didn't take me too long to get there. The man sat my luggage on the floor as a stared at my room. It was a room for two, but I didn't see any other luggage yet so my roommate wasn't on board yet. I was hoping that my room wasn't book and maybe I got lucky. There was a shaving mirror near the front of the room along with a small writing desk. To the right, there was a small sofa and to the left, there was a set of bunk beds. Just this one room seemed to be worth my entire house back home.   
I left my room and headed to look over the dock at all the families bidding passengers farewell. I leaned over the railing and watched some of the first class passengers boarding the ship.   
"Jean!" I heard a cheery voice yell from below the balcony. I looked down and recognized Marco Bodt waving up at me. I smiled and waved down at him. I couldn't see my mother, but I knew she was watching me. I couldn't exactly converse with Marco out in the open, so I nodded toward the stairs to my deck. It's not like I was really familiar with the boat, but I was taking a good guess the the stairs I passed lead to the third class deck. I looked down the stairwell and sure enough, the freckle faced boy appeared, waving up at me and smiling.   
"You can come on down here if you want," Marco said, smiling his wide smile once again.   
"You can come on up here if you want," I said. Marco hesitated but started heading up the stairs anyways. The Titanic had to be leaving soon, since everyone boarding in Southampton was now aboard. I lead Marco to my room at the end of the hallway and opened the door easily, to be sure that I hadn't gotten a roommate yet. The room was just as empty as I left it, so I shut the door behind Marco and sat on the lower bunk. He sat on the sofa across from me and smiled.   
"You didn't tell me you were going to be on the Titanic too. And second class, you must be wealthy," Marco said. He seemed to be looking around the cabin in shock. Traveling second class on the titanic was like traveling first class everywhere else. I was positive that Marco, much like myself, had never been on a boat before.   
"How'd you know it was me?" I asked him. He smiled at me and laughed a little, but I didn't see what was so funny.   
"I'd recognize that watch anywhere," he said, nodding at the watch on my wrist. I looked down at the watch on my wrist and rolled my eyes.   
"Are you nervous, Jean?" He asked me. Then, I realized I had been bouncing my knee a little and stopped immediately.   
"No. Why would I be?" I asked him.   
"I was sure someone had told you by now," Marco muttered slightly. I crossed my legs and sat up straighter than I had before, now suddenly interested as to why I should be nervous.  
"I guess you wouldn't know it's just... sometimes it feels like the whole world knows. Now I have to tell you don't I?" Marco said. "Promise me you won't freak out. I won't try anything honest!" My mother warned me about the third class being full of criminals, however, I never expected Marco to be someone I should be weary of.   
"Uh, if you don't tell me I'm going to assume you're a killer and I'll have to ask you to leave," I said, trying not to show how nervous I was.   
"No no that's not it. I'm..." he started before whispering, "A homosexual." I felt myself let out a sigh of relief.   
"Why would that make me nervous. It's a comforting thought," I said, staring at my shoes. If I could trust anyone with my homosexual thoughts, it would be another homosexual. I figured, here in my own cabin with Marco Bodt, I had nothing to lose.  
"Comforting? I thought for sure you would never speak to me again. Or worse have me killed in secret or something," Marco said quietly.   
"You think too much Marco. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks about boy in more than a friendly relationship," I said. The boy's eyes lit up and he finally looked back up at me.   
"You do?" Marco asked. I suddenly felt fear wash over me as I thought of things spinning out of control with Marco.   
"Not that I'd ever act on it of course," I said, trying my hardest to save myself.   
"Oh," Marco said, his eyes returning to his shoes. "So we're headed to France as we speak, huh?"  
"If I said I wanted to act on it, would you have made a move on me?" I asked, smirking at him. I knew he wouldn't be expecting such talk from someone like me. His head shot up again and he stared directly at me, speechless. I got just the reaction I was hoping for.   
"You have to realize, Jean, that if we got caught, anyone can throw us overboard and say we jumped," Marco said. My smirk faded at the thought of being killed for having any feelings for Marco.   
"So we'd just have to be very careful," Marco continued. Our eyes locked and neither of us spoke. I remember faintly, through the crack of the door, we could hear the band playing. The song was a bit upbeat for the topic we were speaking on, but I remember clearly the song was "Oh, you beautiful doll," by Nat D. Ayer. We stated there just looking at each other until the song ended and an applause could be heard. As soon as the next song started I stood up and held my hand out to him. He smiled and took my hand. I began to lead him around the room in my arms to the song "Wedding Dance," by some guy named Paul I think. Marco didn't seem to have any knowledge on how the dance went, which was perfect because I didn't either. We just made our way around the room quiet a few times, stepping in a square to keep track of where we were. Marco laid his head on my shoulder and we went on and on. Through four consecutive songs we just danced like that.   
"What if someday, we danced in front of everyone. Just like every couple listening to this band right now?" Marco whispered. I didn't say anything, I just closed my eyes and continued to dance. I had spent so much time thinking about how sheltered I was. If my mother were here, I would've never been able to dance with Marco Bodt, even in my own room. I sent a silent prayer of thanks to the band for bringing me this close to Marco Bodt. Even in the first few hours aboard the ship of dreams.


	3. Memories of Marco

We finally made it to Cherbourg, France around 7 o' clock that night. Marco had long since went down to visit his family, so I was alone in my cabin when the boat came to a stop. I knew that at any point, I could receive a roommate. I heard people running through the halls outside of my door like it was a real emergency and decided to check it out.   
I looked over at the people getting onto the boat and pushed my way in front of plenty of people to see what the big deal was when suddenly a motor buggy pulled up and stopped. I had never seen one up close, but there it was. A very small girl with long blonde hair stepped out and waited for someone to grab her luggage.   
"Who is she? I whispered to the taller, freckle faced, girl beside me. She smiled down at me and looked back over at the small girl getting escorted onto the ship.   
"My future wife," The taller girl said.   
"Very funny, but really who is she?" I asked again. She smiled and waved up at the top dock and the taller girl looked back my way.   
"You're not being serious, are you? Princess Historia Reiss?" she asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
"Why is a princess going to America on this ship instead of some private ship?" I asked, ignoring the fact that it was none of my business.   
"Because this is the safest ship to date. It's unsinkable. If I was a princess, I would've gotten a ticket too," she said before turning around and walking away from the crowd.   
I pushed my way through the crowd as well, trying to make it back to my cabin before it got any colder out. I shut the door behind me and pulled out some paper and a pencil to start outlining a painting, however nothing really came to mind. I wanted to paint Marco. I wanted to paint the freckles on his face. I wanted to paint Marco on the main stairway inside the Titanic. I wanted to paint Marco in the nicest clothes looking like the wealthiest man in the world. On the other hand, I wanted to paint Marco and I dancing around what little space we had in my cabin. That memory was mine and Marco's. No one could ever take that away from me. However, I was much to tired to actually put my heart and soul into painting the boy. I didn't want to draw a lazy outline for such a beautiful memory.   
I placed my art supplies back in their case and laid back on my bed, staring at the bunk above mine. I nearly fell asleep if it hadn't been for the footsteps running down the hallway. What the hell was someone doing up at 11 o clock at night running around the cabins. I opened my door and saw the backs of two girls, with an incredible height difference disappear around the corner. I left my room and decided to follow them down the hall.   
Once I reached the corner, I immediately recognized the freckle faced girl from before holding hands with the shorter girl with a scarf over her head. The taller girl pulled the shorter girl into a closet before attempting to shut the door. I placed my hand on the door, holding it open as their lips locked. I knocked lightly on the door, making the shorter girl jump a little.   
"Who the hell do you think you are following two young ladies like this?" the shorter girl asked me. I stood speechless as the two of them stared at me, the taller girl looking angrier than the smaller one.  
"I wasn't following you, but you should've made sure the door was closed before you kiss another girl," I said to her before everything clicked. "Are you princess Historia Reiss?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about," The shorter girl said, blonde locks falling out of the white scarf she had on her head.   
"Right, look I'm not here to black mail you for money," I said but then I had a second thought. These two girls were obviously a couple and Historia Reiss would obviously be required to attend a dance at some point during the cruise.   
"Then what are you blackmailing me for?" Historia asked me, her blue eyes sparkling as she spoke.   
"Listen here, creep, you are not black mailing us for anything when you didn't even know who she was a couple hours ago. No one would believe you anyways if you told them, so why don't you leave us alone before we have you arrested," The taller girl stated, angrily stepping towards me. I took a step back and put my hands up.   
"I was going to ask for help with something, if you're willing," I said.   
"You may continue," Historia said.  
"So you two are a couple, am I right? And there is a formal ball you are required to attend, correct?" I asked. The two of them both nodded slowly.   
"Well, you know you two wouldn't be able to go as a couple..." I started but I was cut off by Historia interrupting me.   
"If you are suggesting you go with me..." Historia started, but I cut her off once again.   
"No not at all. I was going to suggest helping Ymir become your boyfriend for just one night. I will lend her my clothes and maybe cut her hair and she can go with you and no one would question it," I said. Historia's eyes lit up and she looked at Ymir.  
"What's in it for you?" Ymir asked, still not convinced.   
"While I'm helping you become manly, Historia can help my boyfriend become feminine," I said quietly.   
"You're boyfriend?" Historia asked.   
"His name is Marco Bodt. If you could possibly make him look relatively nice for one night, no one would know and we'd be able to just go out and dance in front of everyone else. He'll make sure everything is returned to you as soon as the night is over," I said, feeling extremely proud of myself for the proposition.   
"I'd love to help him! Wouldn't that be extraodinary, Ymir?" Historia asked her girlfriend. "We know the feeling of wanting to fit in just as much as you do."  
I returned to my room with a new sense of hope. I wanted to keep track of all my memories aboard the Titanic. I knew as soon as I stepped foot in New York, I'd have to go back to being William Kirschtien's son. Sheltered yet never having a second of privacy. All my memories then would be Kirschtien memories. Aboard the Titanic they were Jean's memories. So I pulled out a small notebook and wrote an entry on my first day aboard the Titanic. Across the first page I wrote out the words "Memories of Marco."


	4. Special Operations

"You'll be sharing a room with Mr. Kirschtien. I do hope it is to your liking, sir," I heard the faint voice of a man as the door to my cabin opened. There's no way the ship was already at Queensland. I had slept in much later than normal, but I had no time to think about that as my roommate was being lead into my room.  
"William Kirschtien's son? I'd expected you to be out of bed by 12:30," The boy said. He had dark brown hair and bright green eyes. He looked around at the room and sat his stuff on the floor before siting on the sofa the way Marco did the night before.  
"How do you know my father?" I asked him. I couldn't tell if his accent was American or not, but I was guessing it was.  
"Everyone knows your father, he's the wealthiest man in New York!" The boy said, smiling as if I had just told him I was the son of God.  
"So who are you then?" I asked, already bored of the conversation about my father.  
"Eren, Eren Jaeger of the Special Operation film," Eren said, holding his hand out for me to shake. I nodded and shook his hand firmly.  
"So what's the Special Operation film?" I asked. I had never heard the name before but I knew they had to be a pretty popular movie considering they had the money to send actors on the Titanic.  
"It's a group of the world most highly paid entertainers. We're all filming in America together to make on of the best films of all time!" Eren said. My eyes widened, knowing the boy had to have some amazing talent to be recruited for that role.  
"What's your skill then?" I asked him. He looked down at his suitcase before pulling out a notebook full of sheet music.  
"I wrote all the music for the film," He said. He handed the notebook over to me as I looked through the pages of music. I didn't know how to read it, but it sure was impressive.  
"The director, the playwright and the musician are traveling first class. Levi Ackerman, Isabel Magnolia and Farlan Church. All the Actors are Second class with me. Petra Ral, Oluo Bozardo, Eld Ginn, and Gunther Shultz," Eren said. I handed him his sheet music back and stared at him a bit.  
"You must hate having such a reputation to uphold. I myself hate having to always present myself at dinner parties, I'd hate to be presenting myself as William Kirschtien's son," Eren continued carrying on about my father.  
"I don't present myself as Jean Krischtien unless I have to. Everyone on here just believes I'm second class Jean," I stated. Eren laughed a little before nodding.  
"Good choice," Eren said.  
Eren left soon after to attend a meeting with the rest of the actors or something, so I went to see Marco. I had never been around the third class rooms for fear of being seen, but I kept myself very well hidden under a coat and scarf as I wandered through the halls looking for Marco's room. I looked at the numbers, even reading some out loud before finding the door Marco had told me was his. A man, who I assumed was Marco's father, opened the door and stared at me for a moment. He had the same brown eyes and dark hair.  
"You lost, boy?" the man asked me. I finally pulled my scarf down to around my neck and answered him.  
"I'm looking for Marco Bodt," I said quietly, as not to draw attention to myself. Thankfully, Marco appeared in the doorway only moments later, as if coming to my rescue.  
"Jean! What are you doing here?" Marco asked, wrapping his arms around my neck, knocking my hat on the floor outside the door. I quickly returned the hug, but grabbed my hat and stepped inside before anyone could walk by and see me.  
"Marco, is this man a prostitute?" I heard, despite his father's efforts to be quiet.  
"No, Papa, this is Jean. I told you about him, remember," Marco said. He looked at me and nodded before leading Marco and I to where the rest of his family was playing cards.  
His room was much smaller than mine and had more people in it. His mother and little siblings all looked up at us from where they were sitting on the floor and his mother smiled brightly at me. His father was the only one without freckles and a friendly smile and I was positive they all got that from their mother.  
"Jean, that's my Mama, my little brother, Isaac, my little sister, Florence, and my Papa," Marco said. I smiled at them and gave them a friendly wave.  
"I'm Jean," I said still a bit unsure of what to say.  
"Your parents stopped at Jean?" Marco's mother asked me.  
"Kirschtien," I mumbled hoping they wouldn't know my father.  
"Jean Kirschtien? Son of William Kirschtien?" Marco's father asked, I turned around to face him and nodded.  
"Never thought William Kirschtien's son would be one of them. But you've probably been pampered like a damn princess your whole life so I guess you would go look for some working class man to take care of you," Marco's father said.  
"Stop that, John. Our son likes him so he's like family now," Marco's mother said.  
"I like him too. He's got funny hair," Florence said, giggling a little as she smiled up at me. She reminded me of Jacelynn back home and it brought a smile to my face.  
"Marco, would you like to accompany me for tea?" I asked him. His little sister continued to smile at us and Marco nodded, trying his hardest not to smile, but to no avail.  
As soon as we were back in my hall I whispered to him, "How would you like to dance in front of everyone? Just for tonight."  
"It's a nice thought, Jean, but you know we can't," Marco said, smiling a slightly disappointed smile.  
"Well maybe we can't go as we are right now... But what if you were a young lady whom I just happened to meet before the dance?" I said, trying to hold in my enthusiasm.  
"You couldn't make me look like a woman even if you wanted to," Marco said, laughing at my suggestion.  
"Maybe you're right, but Historia Reiss can," I said, leaning against the wall on my elbow.  
Eren had told me he would be gone until late in the evening so I invited Ymir and Historia to meet in my cabin with any materials they may need. Historia showed up right on time with Ymir following closely behind. She placed a gown with some makeup and brassieres on the couch along with a wig. She then turned to me and smiled brightly.  
"So this must be Marco. He looks really... manly," Historia said. I knew she was probably thinking the same thing I was, it was virtually impossible to make Marco look feminine.  
"I'll work on him if you wanna start with Ymir," Historia said.  
"We can go back to my cabin if you would prefer," Ymir said, sounding uninterested as always. I knew working from her cabin would give us more area to work, but I couldn't stand the thought of being alone in a room with her. Something about her just made me uncomfortable. I, however, obliged and grabbed anything I thought I would need to make Ymir look manlier than she already did.  
Her cabin was even more crowded than Marco's and she looked as if she had three roommates with stuff lying on every bed. She moved a ton of stuff aside and made her way to the mirror. Her hair was shorted than I thought when she took it down, so cutting it wouldn't be too hard.  
"You are going to have to get all the makeup off your face," I said, obviously not knowing what I was talking about at the time because looking back she had no makeup on whatsoever. She ignored me and turned around so that he back was to the mirror.  
"I don't wanna watch you cutting it," Ymir said, closing her eyes and handing me a pair of scissors. I ran my fingers through the length of her hair once before making the first cut. A few inches of hair fel around my feet before I cut the next strand. By the time I was done, she could either slick back her hair or leave it the way it was. She would've looked fairly masculine other than her clothing.  
"The dress, it has to come off," I said, standing behind her with a bandage and her suit.  
"Um, aren't you going to leave first?" Ymir asked and I rolled my eyes.  
"You have to bandage up your... breasts to make them less visible," I said, she turned around and grabbed the bandage out of my hands before shoving me out of the room. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the door, staring at my shoes. I was trying not to look too suspicious for being on the lower decks, but after a while it really didn't seem like any one was coming by anyways. After only a few minutes Ymir and I headed back up stairs as quickly as possible and knocked on the door to my cabin.  
"We'll be just one moment, I'm doing her hair," Came Historia's voice from inside the cabin. Ymir and I stood outside the door and leaned against the wall. I began to whistle slightly, bouncing on my heels and trying to look preoccupied so that I didn't have to converse with Ymir. She seemed to be adjusting the bandages on her chest and playing with her hair a lot and I could tell she was nervous.  
"What's my name tonight?" She asked me.  
"Marco," I said.  
"Okay, gentleman are you ready to see your dates?" Historia's voice came from the other side of the door. I stood up straighter and fixed my bow tie nervously and Ymir took a step forward as Historia opened the door.  
Historia looked stunning, but nothing like a princess. She had her hair loosely braided and beautiful floral clips in it. Her dress perfectly complimented the red dress, but it looked like something my mother could've afforded. Her bright blue eyes certainly popped out and she seemed like a 4' 9" goddess standing in front of us.  
"What happened to the royal princess gown you were wearing early?" I asked her. She laughed lightly and shook her head.  
"That was Historia. Tonight I am Krista. And this is Ymir," she said, stepping aside to reveal Marco in a gorgeous midnight blue gown with long sleeves and a high neckline. It almost fooled me at first. He had his wig curled and pinned back on each side but dark curls still cascaded down his back. He looked up at me and I was speechless. Ymir and Historia were already talking and laughing beside me but I was too busy staring at all the hard work Historia had put in to making Marco look like a female and it certainly paid off. I took his hand in mine and gently kissed his soft skin.  
"My princess," I said, a genuine smile playing at my lips as our eyes met again.


	5. A Song Without Words

Second class was by no means the royalty that Historia was used to, but it was a nice change for Ymir and Marco. I could tell by the way Marco's face lit up that it was everything he had hoped for and that made my heart melt. Shit I was a homosexual.   
I kissed Marco's hand as I led him up the stairs. He could probably tell how nervous I was as we stepped out in plain sight of everyone. If we we're caught, I couldn't possibly imagine what would happen to Marco and I. Marco especially. I knew I wouldn't possibly be able to calm down until we were back in our cabins and away from everyone else. I didn't know it then but I could never really calm down until Marco Bodt was out of my life. Even if I was far away from everyone on the ship, there was still that fear playing in the back of my mind. Who could walk in? What's gonna happen tomorrow? Every question in the book constantly ran through my head because even then I knew society wasn't going to change. I had heard it a million times before "That's the way it's always been."  
Marco and I went unnoticed by mostly everyone there. A few couples stopped to say a polite hello and Historia and Ymir seemed to be passing very well for a second class couple. They were even making small talk with other couples and having drinks. I turned back to face Marco as the music from the band filled the air. He smiled up at me and took a deep shaky breath. I pulled him close to me and on shaky feet, lead him slowly in a square where we stood. We moved slowly to the music and I could feel him relax. His heart was still pounding against my chest, but he was no longer tense. His breathing slowly became normal and I could feel him loosening up. He was going to have a good time, and I knew that I should lighten up and do the same. I took a deep breath and smiled up at Marco, leading him around the room at a quicker pace as the music changed.   
"Jean, what are you doing?" Marco asked me. I just laughed and continued to move at a constant pace.  
"Do you dance a lot, Ymir?" I asked him. He threw his head back and laughed at me as we continued to move with the crowd. This is what Marco was telling me about and I finally understood what he meant. Dancing in front of everyone was different from hiding in my room dancing to music we could barely hear. This was different, and for a homosexual, it was a once in a lifetime thing.   
"Would you like me better like this? As a girl?" Marco whispered to me. I looked up into his eyes and shook my head.   
"I am in love with Marco Bodt, whether he wears a dress or slacks doesn't matter to me," I whispered in reply.  
It was over way too soon, and the four of us were running through the halls to my cabin and I quickly shut the door behind Historia and began laughing loudly as the four of us stood there catching our breath. After a few moments, Historia slipped out of her dress, revealing her expensive undergarments. I sat on my bed, since I was the only one who really didn't have to change. Marco struggled to remove the dress, after sliding out of his heels. I laughed a little at the boy as he slowly went back to his previously masculine self. He stood shirtless in my cabin as he finally undressed himself and I tried my best not to stare. Historia had pulled on one of her princess gowns again and Ymir was wearing the same dress she arrived in. Historia hugged Marco and I quickly and gave Ymir a kiss before leaving the room. Ymir stayed in the room with us for a few more minutes to give Historia time to get away. She then nodded and thanked us before leaving the room as well.  
Marco was trying to remove the heavy makeup from his face as I watched him at my sink. It took him a while to figure it out, but pretty soon he was makeup free and sitting beside me on my bed.   
"Have you ever... been with another man before?" I asked him. I'm sure he wasn't expecting that, since he seemed caught off guard.   
"Once. He grew up in the same town that I did. Where I first met you. He was very good at writing music and I'm pretty sure he went off to be apart of some musical group or something. We only got there once and it was quick and afterwards he told me he wasn't into boys, so I never saw him again," Marco said to me. I was surprised that Marco had gotten there at his age, but I believed every word of it.  
"How did it work? It can't be like fucking a girl," I said, somewhat embarrassed, however, extremely curious as to how two men could take a turn in Cupid's alley.   
"Well it's kind of the same thing but with different holes," Marco said, blushing furiously as he spoke. My eyes widened and I gasped, quickly slapping a hand over my mouth.   
"Doesn't that hurt?" I said, slowly moving my hand away from my mouth.   
"At first it hurts a lot, but after a while it actually feels good?" Marco said, ending it as a question in a way. I laughed at him, knowing how uncomfortable this must be for him, so I dropped the subject.   
Usually, after a certain time of night, almost everyone was in bed. If they weren't in bed, they were usually inside, due to the temperature. I stood up and pulled my coat on before throwing another coat at Marco. He caught it and pulled it on, giving me a slightly confused look.   
"Come on, we are going out on the deck," I said, grabbing Marco's hand. I pulled him out of my cabin and down the hallway until we found ourselves on the deck. It was certainly cold, but it was worth it. I looked up at the stars in the sky like little white lights thrown across a dark background. The breeze blew my hair gently and I could tell Marco was confused. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and pointed up at the sky.   
"You see all the stars?" I whispered in his ear, "That's what I think of when I see your freckles." He turned his head so that his face was inches from mine and smiled at me. He turned his full body so that he was facing me and wrapped his arms around my neck. I studied his face with all the stars in the background behind him and I captured the moment in my head. The scene was perfect. I wanted more than anything to keep it forever and I was ready to paint the freckle faced boy in the starry sky, as he fit right in. I knew that our time aboard the RMS Titanic couldn't last forever, but I certainly wish it could. I most certainly wish it could.


End file.
